I would have to imagine that the last 32 years of Mother’s Days for you looked something like this:
The most recent decade or so was floral deliveries or cards or maybe a spa treatment if, while we were busy with class and work and life, one of the four of us remembered to send something nice. College kids and 20-somethings have impeccable taste, you know. Unfortunately, I think my brother got the “favorite” award this year because he sent a real card. In the mail. That got there before today. Well played, broseph!
Before that dad maybe helped coordinate a relatively relaxing Sunday for you…. Or atleast hopefully loaded the dishwasher after dinner. And made sure your brood of teenagers signed the card.
The most thoughtful of years thus far, though, had to have been right before that; where we made macaroni cards at school or were excited to (and insistent on) helping prepare breakfast in bed. Sorry about the egg shells that dad may have missed. I’m sure you smiled through a few of those crunchy suprises without our even realizing it.
But that first year… Before my three siblings showed up… When you were only a few months into this “mom” thing… I want you to know that I get it now.
Well… Starting to get it now. Not saying I get the whole entire mom thing. No way. (Rumor has it we actually never do.) But I’m now 5 weeks in and getting to experience my first Mother’s Day. So I’m now starting to understand what “mom” means.
And the first Mother’s Day isn’t about me. It’s about you.
It’s about realizing how drastically different this last 32 years must have been from your perspective. And how much you sacrificed for us without a second thought. And without our even realizing it.
In these first weeks I’ve learned…
…What they truly mean by “breast feeding is hard”. That shit hurts and is frustrating as hell when it’s not going well.
…How depressing it can be when dad gets the fun and flirting time with the baby, while I get looked at as simply the food truck.
…How exhausting growth spurts can be. Just. Go. To. Sleep. Child.
…And that my body is no longer my own.
But you’ve always reminded me that I can do anything for a little while. And those reminders have helped me through the hard parts these last few weeks.
“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.” ~Linda Wooten
So I want you to realize that when I look back on the last 5 weeks, what actually stands out is …
…How gratifying it is to finally get the hang of feeding; and how bad ass you feel knowing you’re the sole provider for your kid’s nutrition. ‘Meals to go’ is open for business!
…That some days, I’m the only one (not even dad) that can calm the crying baby just by picking her up. She only wants me!
…How much I can accomplish on just a few short hours of sleep. Chest naps with the kiddo are a new favorite.
…That it’s pretty miraculously amazing that my body made this unbelievable little person!
And because while she sleeps in my lap, this part never gets old….
So thanks for the advice. Thanks for reminding me that I can do anything. And thanks for setting the bar so high. I can only hope she can look at me someday and feel exactly like I do today.
Happy (Grand)Mummum’s Day!
“Call your mother. Tell her you love her. Remember, you’re the only person who knows what her heart sounds like from the inside.” ~Rachel Wolchin